Garrus, All Day, Erryday

In playing Mass Effect 1 and 2, you will be presented with multiple party members. You must always choose Garrus.

Why? You may as well ask why so many people think Die Hard was a great movie or why sex is the main reason men exist; because it/he is awesome.

Let me lay down some base facts first: Garrus is an ex-cop. As we all know, well over 60% of ex-cops are bad motherfuckers who are full of rage, liquor and violence. Garrus uses a sniper rifle. As we all know, sniper rifles are pretty cool. The list goes way the fuck on.

But here are some things you didn’t know. For starters, you know the big firefights in Mass Effect 2 where you’re panicking and shit’s getting crazy? Well, if Garrus is feeling like it, sometimes he will make you and your other partymate look like a colossal pussy.

That not good enough? Then prepare to be blown away by how much of a bro Garrus is. I don’t mean sick-kegger-at-Joey’s-during-reading-week college bro, I mean true bro, in that he’s got your back no matter what. He can also pull off the overtanned huge-shade wearing polo shirt asshole look though, and make it look fucking good.

I don’t care if you’re new to Mass Effect or you’re a grizzled veteran. You had better fucking open it up, you had better fucking play it again, and you had better fucking bring Garrus with you. He turns a great space opera into a great space opera buddy cop movie.

To contact the author of this post: mark.armstrong@wildgunmen.com

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