January 15, 2011
Marwencol Showtimes At The Uptown
Janx Predicts Movie Scores – August
Just like last month I’ll be predicting the scores various critics will be giving the five largest movie releases for the month of August. If you read my last months results you’ll know I kind of had incredible success with a prediction accuracy of 98%. So, this month, the expectations are extremely high.
Again, to reiterate the rules:
To calculate the final score I will be using three of the largest movie review websites available: IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic. I will average out the final score one week after each movie has been released and then you’ll all get to laugh at how far off I was. Oh and every 5 points I am off from the average score there will be some form of punishment invoked by the other editors.
I have extreme doubts that I will average higher than 90% accuracy this month though, mostly because the directors and producers of the five largest films releasing this month have little if no past film work to pull clues from. Either way though, the rules stand, five or more points off and punishment ensues.
So, let’s get to it:
I think this is going to be the toughest movie to predict a critical score for this month. I mean, 75% of all movie critics are older men in their 40’s and 50’s. So, with that in mind, I kind of understand why they give absolute garbage films like Wanted a good score. It’s because they’re essentially our fathers. You remember taking your dad to the movies don’t you? Over the top action films excite and impress them to a degree that is almost embarrassing… and it’s no different for the critics.
So, with that in mind I’m going to score this new over-the-top action film the same as I score most over-the-top action films, poorly, but not too poorly knowing how many critics are easily impressed by big explosions still.
Scott Pilgrim Versus The World is really just another small scale comic book movie adaption like Kick-Ass. It’s really nothing new, but despite that fact I don’t think this new genre of movie has been over played yet. I think the genre has at least another movie or two worth of quality in it before the critics start losing interest.
That’s not the only reason I’m giving it a generous score. British director Edgar Wright has been hot property ever since he did Hot Fuzz and I’m counting on his hot streak to continue for this film.
I’m scoring this as my movie of the month.
There’s absolutely no way this film will be any good. The real question though is just how bad it will be. I started much lower than 4.1… the reason I worked my way up is because IMDB is one of the critics websites I have to take into consideration for my score and I have a feeling the general public will maybe not like the film, but will actually enjoy how poor it is.
Also, that crazy doctor from Back To The Future is in it! That’s got to be worth a few points! 
I watched Daniel Stamm’s A Necessary Death documentary and it was brilliantly well done. That being said, fake documentaries tend to be really hit or miss and I’ve a gut feeling this will be a miss.
The reason why I feel it will be a miss is because exorcism movies have been done before… they’ve been done a whole bunch. So, anything they think they’re doing in this film that’s super original and disturbing isn’t going to be seen as super original or disturbing. it will be seen as just another exorcism fake horror documentary.
I think it will be well done and a decent effort, but I’m calling it as a miss.
I was somewhat excited to see this film until I saw the last quarter of the trailer. One of my biggest pet-peeves in movies these days is when they cast gorgeous, sexy, slender women in roles where they’re supposed to be mean, malicious and dangerous animal. It just doesn’t work!
Bond girl, Olga Kurylenko, is the latest example of this in Centurion. She’s likely one of the sexiest women in the world and I’m supposed to believe she can take on a fully grown, ultra buff 240 pound man with that slender 120 pound figure… right.
I think Centurion started out with the right idea, but developed into a big budget movie that didn’t have a big budget.
To contact the author of this post: patrick.gall@wildgunmen.com
Just commenting to say that that picture of you on the Ferris wheel makes me laugh every goddamned time I see it.
You mean the picture of me 200 feet up in the power lines?
Death grip!
I expect the rating for the Expendables to be a little higher, not that I have any interest in it really..
So far it sits at 5.9… so, we just need the IMDB crowd to calm down a bit about it and we should be sitting pretty.
Scott Pilgrim is at 7.4… so, same thing.