January 15, 2011
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15 Poorly Cast Geek Roles In Hollywood
We’re all aware that “Hollywood land” isn’t a very good representation of the real world. Hollywood has never been that good at casting real-to-life actors and actresses. Actors and actresses that the general audience can relate to and empathize with on a day to day basis.
Even when Brad Pitt goes to the gym in Burn After Reading you never think to yourself, “Hey, we’re really alike, I go to the gym too!” No, even when Brad Pitt plays a weird, average person, he’s still Brad Pitt and that just shines through, ruining the whole connection.
Sometimes though, Hollywood just plain fucks up that connection to the real world so badly that it’s actually sad. And more often than not the worst of those Hollywood mess ups has to do when supermodel-gorgeous actors and actresses are cast to play “geeky” roles.
Here’s a list of what we feel are the most outlandish and idiotic geek role fuck up casting blunders in movies to date:
Geek Type: Band Camp Geek
Alyson Hannigan sort of encompasses the role of a “sexy geek” girl in films. She’s not that bad at pulling it off either when it’s not to an absolute ludicrous extent like it was in American Pie.
Hannigan plays Michelle Flaherty, the geeky band camp girl we all know and love… only geeky doesn’t exactly do her justice. I believe the term “super-borderline-retarded-geeky” is a more accurate term for her behaviour in the film.
Conclusion:
There’s absolutely no way a girl as gorgeous as Hannigan would ever be considered a geek anywhere, ever, let alone a “super-borderline-retarded-geek-band-camp-geek”.
Geek Type: Comic Book Geek
Adam Brody’s character in The O.C. is called Seth Cohen. He’s supposed to be a huge comic book geek. He spends all of his time at the local comic book store because he actually draws his own comics and then his friend Ben sells them at the store. He’s really just your everyday, believable comic book geek.
He’s also a Teen Choice award nominee which is basically making the connection that young teenage girls love comic book geeks, right?
Conclusion:
Wrong. Just look at this guy, he’s an absolute heartthrob. The only way he’d enter a comic book store is to avoid the thousands of teenage girls chasing him.
Geek Type: Computer Hacking Geek
Angelina Jolie is probably one of the most recognizably sexy women in Hollywood. Because of this, casting her for a role where she’s a super badass computer hacker is probably not going to work that well.
Someone apparently forgot to tell director Iain Softley that fact back in 1995. Oh but wait, maybe Jolie wasn’t as attractive back then… no, never mind, she still was.
Conclusion:
Angelina Jolie was just as sexy back then as she is today, a girl that gorgeous in 1995 wouldn’t even know what a computer was, let alone how to hack into companies with one.
Geek Type: Hipster Band Geek
Mary Elizabeth Winstead is cast as Ramona Flowers in the upcoming comic book film adaptation Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. Now, you might argue that the character Ramona Flowers isn’t necessarily a gigantic geek in the comic book. She’s a sort of “hipster-geek” combination. She hangs out with a band and she dresses funny and she’s an outcast. She’s definitely a geek though, maybe not that much of a geek, but definitely geeky enough to be in our list.
The problem here is that Mary Elizabeth is considered to be one of the sexiest up and coming women alive by many critics and fashion magazines. She’s absolutely the farthest thing from a geek imaginable and to cast her as such is beyond oversight… it’s straight up ridiculous.
Conclusion:
Scott Pilgrim might have had a chance with a realistic Ramona Flowers… but with Winstead… ya right, good job guys.
Geek Type: Unpopular Girl At School Geek
Carly Pope might not be a familiar name or face but that doesn’t mean it’s any less obvious how poorly cast she was in the tv series Popular.
She played the unpopular school newspaper editor, Sam, who sits next to the popular girl, Brooke, in class. Her and Brooke hate each other but oh no – their parents are getting married. With help from her friends: the fat girl, the PETA girl and the nerdy boy, Sam plans to sabotage their parent’s relationship so she doesn’t have to live with Brooke.
Conclusion:
A fat girl, a crazy hippy, a socially awkward nerd, and the sexiest girl ever are all bound together as outcasts from the popular circle at school… ya, that sounds about right. The sexiest girl ever wouldn’t be popular at all. It will take you approximately three minutes of watching Popular to realize how much of a failure this casting was.
Geek Type: Elite Computer Hacking Geek
Justin Long is best know these days as that overly annoying, smart-ass Mac guy from the tv commercials. Love him or hate him there’s no denying he’s quite sexy.
So, it’s kind of difficult for us to figure out why director Len Wisemen thought Long would be the perfect fit for the role of Matt Farrel, a super-genius computer hacker. I mean, the whole idea behind being a computer hacker is that you sit in your room all day every day staring at the computer non-stop, and something tells me no computer hacker looks quite like that –>
Conclusion:
You may not like Justin Long, but nobody is stupid enough to believe the world’s best computer hacker looks like him. Also, the Mac guy hacking computers?? Pfft!! Ha! The irony!
Geek Type: Bucktooth Teacher’s Pet Geek
Emma Watson may have only been 11 years old when she was cast to play the super-geek, book nerd Hermione Granger but is that really any excuse? I mean, it’s not like director Chris Columbus was blind to the fact that Watson would one day develop into a full fledged hottie.
Author of the Harry Potter books, J.K. Rowling has openly admitted that Hermione is a representation of the author herself as a child, teased and picked on by the other girls for being a know-it-all.
Something tells me Watson, one of Glamour Magazine’s top ten fashionistas of 2010, doesn’t know the first thing about being teased.
Conclusion:
Way too hot to be a book nerd. Way too hot to play a young J.K. Rowling.
Geek Type: High School Science Lab Geek
When Tobey Maguire was announced for the role of Spider-Man, a lot of core comic enthusiasts were confused. Peter Parker was supposed to be the essence of a geek was he not? His “geekiness” made the connection comic books geeks had to the Spider-Man series that much stronger.
So, what the hell was Marvel thinking when they cast this guy? I mean, sure he might have a little bit of a “geeky” look to him… but not nearly enough to pull off Peter Parker, not by a long shot.
Conclusion:
Any man voted sexiest super hero by any media publication doesn’t deserve to play the role of Peter Parker… How is this believable?
CONTINUE TO PAGE 2
To contact the author of this post: patrick.gall@wildgunmen.com
I just want to make one comment.
Basically what you are saying is that geeks have to be ugly as fuck…so these good looking people could never possibly be geeks. Trust me, there are lots of good looking people who game, read books and comics, play Warcraft, like Star Trek, etc. Or like Alyson Hannigan could never be a band geek because she’s sexy…so to be a band geek you have to be ugly. Yes, there are alot of ugly geeks, but there’s alot of ugly *other categories*. People who enjoy geeky things don’t have to be ugly.
Fail.
Sorry Paige, until you find me a geek who is as fit and gorgeous and sexy as anyone on that list I don’t think it’s a fail.
Geeks can be attractive is certain ways, but there’s no geek out there that could look as absolutely perfect as those actors and actresses do and legitimately be as geeky as their characters portray.
Not at all… no way.
I’m not sure Jason Lee was ever good looking.
Vin Diesel is a major geek.
This article is now diamonds.
I’m on a horse.
I have to agree with Goth Skunk.
Vin Diesel has stated that he loved D&D.. anyone who ever played D&D for more than 5 minutes would be considered a geek.
While I agree that Hollywood is unrealistic when it comes to…everything, including geek role casting, one has to consider what or who is going to put butts in seats. It’s all about the box office.
If any of my unfit, pasty, poorly dressed WoW playing friends were to miraculously be cast in a film, the financial returns would be terrible. Sure, they’d save wages by paying them in Pizza Pops and Red Bull instead of money, but they still wouldn’t make their money back.
Sexy sells, my friend and geek sexy is a little too niche to work. This explains why I’m far from wealthy.
Slap on some sexy bra’s and panties, sultry makeup, a little tweak here and there, and boom, any geek can be sexy. It all depends on the light. The same can be done aesthetically to a normally hot chick, where her allure her downplayed dramatically. The question is, does every “geek” know how to dress sexy?
I originally thought this article had some potential.. but the fact that it was purely based on looks ruined it. Good acting should be able to make the role, and not all geeks are ugly.
I never said all geeks are ugly, I simply said no geek out there could possibly look as absolutely perfect as those actors and actresses do and legitimately be as geeky as their characters portray them to be.
Acting can only take the imagination so far before it becomes delusion.
Just my $0.02!
@Janz – Dude jus cuz yr an ugly fat masturbating geek, doesn’t mean all geeks are like you. Some of the coolest people I have met a PURE geeks, and yeah believe it or not some are gorgeous!! U think that Harry Potter girl is too pretty to be a bookworm? Are fucking stupid?? Some of the hottest girls I’ve gone out with are bookworms and could outsmart u at anything, and trust me they were definitely hotter than the American Pie chick (she’s a dog). And just so u know………the chick that plays in Harry Potter IS a fucking bookworm for REAL u moron!! Its not yr $0.02, its shit coming out fingers mate. U can’t judge people on looks and physical appearance alone.
I’m not sure if this comment should even warrant a response, but why not.
First off, calm down. I’ve never once said that the actors and actresses in this list are “bad” people.
Again, all I’m getting across is these actors and actresses are too good looking to play believable geeks to the level their characters are supposed to be.
Emma Watson is a bookworm in real life? So, what you’re telling me is that she is exactly the same level of geek that she is in the Harry Potter films? She looked and appeared just as geeky in real life as in the films?
If that’s the case… what’s she doing saying this in her interviews?
When I was 9 or 10, I would get really upset when they tried to make me look geeky, but now I absolutely love it. I find it’s so much pressure to be beautiful. Hermione doesn’t care what she looks like. She’s a complete tomboy.
Ya “mate”… apparently she was just the biggest geek ever in real life…
Idiot! I never said she was the ‘biggest geek ever in real life’ I said she was a bookworm!! Which she is (and not ALL bookworms are like the character in HP, it shows how much u know people)! And u have to be the biggest idiot ever, where in my comment did I say ‘actors and actresses in this list are “bad” people’?? Did u just make that shit up yrself or did u just imagine I wrote that? And yr STILL wrong about ‘actors and actresses are too good looking to play believable geeks’ no matter how u choose to word it. U obviously have never gone out with anyone goodlooking much less a geek who is goodlooking! The chick who plays in HP is a VERY believable geek and is only average looking. Yes we ALL know how Hollywood casts people, but to say that ‘all these actors and actresses are too good looking to play believable geeks’ is just plum dumb mate!
Did you seriously just call Emma Watson average looking?
… I don’t think anymore needs to be said. Please though, embarrass your native language and yourself a little more here.
Janx don’t even bother. Clearly this idiot is 14 years old and never had his Emma Watson love letter responded to.
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